New Birth

  

I love to reflect about myself and the things that happens each day until my mom told me about the move to the U.S. At that moment sadness invaded my heart. I felt lost at the time as a 13-year-old kid. When I tried to think about myself, it was a black hole, hopeless. “Gone” that was the only word that kept appearing in my mind. I thought it was going to be a nightmare; an eternal nightmare caging me in.

         Remembering life in high school, it was so calm and bitter to recollect those days. It was my first four years living in the U.S. and also my first experience with high school life. I’m glad I had the chance to go to high school. There, I met many people who came from so many different countries. The first time I saw them, I was like that’s impossible and unbelievable because they have blue eyes and blonde hair that was so different from people in Asia. Even though I was   wondering those things, I didn't talk to others about my curiosity because I had the greatest problem “The Language Barrier”. Because of that, I didn't talk to anyone. I knew others probably thought I was dumb, and they were right, I was dumb; language dumb. For two years I barely talked to any others, except my ESL teacher.

        

         Time passed and I was a junior student in high school. I could talk a little English, but barely enough. Though, I did have some friends in the school. Honestly, I knew them in 9^th grade but with the language barrier problem, I couldn't remember their names for 10 minutes. I felt that it was a little unfair I couldn't speak fluent English. I was so lost about what to do then and my future.

 

         Five years have passed since I looked behind and I feel like it was just a dream that happened yesterday. The past is the same as a dream. You may not remember what is really going on, but you know it was dream or nightmare. Now I know it’s going to be better and better. I can talk to others and drive anywhere I want to, but sometimes the language still funks me and confuses me. I am accepting the fact that I have to start my life over again here.

        

         The eternal memory of the last night in FuZhou. I still cannot forget the city which raised me and so many memories with it. I keep recalling those days, people and tear, especially the last day in China. My friends were so mad at me for leaving China. I didn't tell them my flight’s time. I told them when I was almost leaving. I just hated to see parting and also I reared to say goodbye. I knew my life was going to change. I was not very happy with my parent’s decision, but I had no choice. I left there forever.

         Now I can reflect about myself again, I really did a lot of things. I am used to life in the United States. I am accepting what I have now and trying to respect and be thankful of everything I have. It will be a valuable memory of my life. Now I can start to think about myself again. I realized that dream did not cage me in, it was me caging myself in.