non-mainstream

Life is not an essay, it will not accept ordinary, only enshrine splendidness. It is a process, not a matter succeeded or defeated; it will not leave a blank behind you.  I am cherishing the memory of my childhood; I failed a lot of things and people. I turn my head to see my past; it was not long ago. I was 12 years old, I was short and thin, long hair colored to yellow and had three earrings, two on the left and one on the right, and it is the standard of bad boys in China.

      It was 2006. I transferred to another middle school because the old one went broke. At the new school, everything was new to me, and only a few friends I could count on my fingers. I was very quiet; I did not talk much even to my classmates or teachers.
      They could rarely hear a word from my mouth. I think that was one of the reasons I didn’t have many friends in the new school. Another reason I didn’t have friends was the vision of bad boy.  In China, once you were partitioned to bad, it was very hard to change it.
A month later, a lot of people knew me but I didn’t know them. I had no idea how they knew me, only one thing I knew was that I was scared them for some reason.
      Back in the old school, there were always rumors about me that made people think I was bad. One of the rumors was I joined the gang and fought with other gangsters that scared people. They were always roaming on the streets around the school. To be honest, I knew some of them, but I was not one of them. No one liked me including teachers and my mother.
      Another reason was the way I dressed; it made people think I was bad. It was all about the traditional view point. As you know my hair was dyed yellow and I had three earrings, one of them was a heavy iron earring and the other one was a cross with the chain. It was very cool to me but people thought of it as non-mainstream. My mom did not like the way I dressed, it caused a lot of arguments between us.
      Later, I quit the school. I found a night time job in a club between 6pm to 2am. I lied to the manager of that club, I told them I was 15, but I was only 12. I think they knew I was lying but who cares?  After that, I barely went home and had no contact with my mom.
      My mind was changed by the age. That year was 2009, it was the first year I came to US. I started realize I had to change myself to be a normal Chinese, because I was in a different country and I knew it was the good time to change myself, also it was not looks cool to me anymore.

      I knew it was not the way that my mom wanted me to go nor did I want to go down this path.  I failed my mom’s expectation and I have always known that, but I am trying my best to be a good son to remedy my fault.